Speed Round
HELL NO, HE WON’T GO
Former Justice Department counsel John Yoo – the guy who wrote the torture memos – says he will not testify voluntarily in front of the House Judiciary Committee. You can already smell the subpoenas. [ABC News]
“BONER”
According to a new profile in Cincinnatti Magazine, that’s what President Bush and other “friends and colleagues” call House Minority Leader John Boehner. (Not to be confused with Mike Seaver’s best friend.) [Cincinatti Magazine]
TROUBLE IN PARADISE
Although Northwest Airlines and Delta may be getting hitched soon, the honeymoon’s over. Delta reported a $6.4B loss in the first quarter, far overshadowing the $4.1B loss reported by Northwest. [ABC]
BELOW THE BELT
We knew it couldn’t last — EBay sues Craigslist over claims of diluting their stock by 10%. [New York Times]
SEXUAL PROBLEMS
Experts testified yesterday in front of the House of Representatives that abstinence-only programs do not work. White House response: “So?” [Reuters]
SECRET AGENT MAN
It took the government more than two decades, but they finally noticed that spy slipping images of classified documents to Israel in 1985. [Washington Post]
TAKE YOUR PICTURE FROM THE WALL
Disgraced former chief of HUD Alphonso Jackson has officially been erased from the walls of his former offices. In The Loop reports the guy was barely out the door when aides started taking down the giant homage he’d built to himself in the lobby, replacing the 21 giant photos of Jackson with pictures of homeowners, cityscapes and housing (you know, the agency’s actual mission.) [Washington Post]
HEIL TONY
GOP congressional candidate Tony Zirckle (Indiana 2nd District) can’t figure out why people are upset about his speech to a group celebrating Adolf Hitler’s birthday (complete with swastika flags). He helpfully explained, “I’ll speak before any group that invites me.” [CBS News]
DAMN THE ELECTRIC FENCE
Remember that high-tech “virtual” fence the government wanted to build between the U.S. and Mexican border? They’re getting rid of its $20-million prototype because, well, it just doesn’t work. Thanks, Boeing! [CNN]
BEING MEAN IS EXPENSIVE
Meanwhile, Prince William County, Virginia, got national attention last October when it announced it was starting a draconian new program to purge its streets of illegal immigrants. This week, their Board of County Supervisors realized how much it would cost and cut money for immigration crackdowns almost in half. [Washington Post]
STOP STALKING ME
Post 9/11, standards were drastically tightened for international students studying in the U.S., straining both universities and students. This spring, they hope to make these standards even stricter, both doubling the financial payments from students for the service and increasing the length of monitoring for students from certain countries. [Kansas City Star]
SUPPORT THE TROOPS
A substantial overhaul of the GI Bill is facing stiff challenges from the administration, who worry that members of the military would leave the service as soon as they could get educational benefits. [Politico]
NUCLEAR BUDDIES
North Korea’s been pretty busy with their own nuclear program recently, but not too busy to help out their friends in Syria. Photographic evidence released by U.S. intelligence today shows copycat nuclear reactors in the two countries, although the Syrian facility was destroyed by an Israeli military operation in 2007. [ABC]
SORRY LADIES, MAYBE NEXT YEAR
Despite Sen. Mikulski’s call of “Women of America: Put your lipstick on, square your shoulders, suit up” and get ready to fight,” Senate Republicans managed to kill the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. Moral of the story: be rude and ask your coworkers for full salary info in the first 180 days at a new job. [MSNBC]