Watercooler Sensation

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Nutrition: Welcome To 2031

• Oat bran. Atkins. Fat-free. We’ve all seen major dietary fads come (and go), so ABC News asked doctors to project what the hot nutrition trends will look like in 25 years. [ABC News]
• Congratulations, chocoholics: Dark chocolate, with all of its health benefits, will be everywhere.
• Ever heard of nutrigenomics? Don’t worry — neither have we. But in 25 years, doctors will be able to construct specific diets for people based on their genetic risk factors. How Buck Rogers.
• We’ll know exactly how much red wine to drink for maximum health benefits.
• We think this one sounds a little made-up — scientists predict up to 50% of the population will be vegetarian. (Ed. Note: We will not be included in that 50%. We love meat.)
• And this one sounds kinda scary: Cloned breast milk.

Sigh. We assumed by 2031 we’d all be getting nutrients out of tubes and taking vitamin packets instead of eating. You lied to us, Epcot Center!

The Most Dangerous Part Of Your Kid’s Day: The Bus

• At least 17,000 children a year are sent to hospital emergency rooms after school bus-related accidents. That’s a lot of injured kids. [ABC News]
• 1/4: Number of the accidents which happen when your kid is getting on or off the bus.
• 42%: Percent of the accidents which happen from bus crashes
• The rest of the accidents happen when buses turn suddenly or “roughhousing” (read: bullying) from other kids.
• Researchers say many of these injuries could be prevented if school buses a) had lap safety belts and b) had more adult monitors on the buses to watch the kids.
• The school bus industry (sorry, we mean the National School Transportation Association) is fighting against a safety belt requirement because: a) it would be expensive to install them in all of the buses; and b) they couldn’t cram as many kids on and would need more buses.
• Plus, adds the industry, out of the 23.5 million kids who ride the bus, 17,000 isn’t that bad. (Ed. Note: Unless, of course, it’s your child being rushed to the ER.)
• If you’re planning to live somewhere safer for your kids, try the five states so far to implement seat belt requirements: California, Florida, Louisiana, New Jersey and New York.
• It also doesn’t help that the poster saint for school bus drivers is...Otto. (Here’s a classic Otto moment from the Simpsons via YouTube.) [YouTube Otto]

On the up side, this does add the potential for so many new verses to the Wheels On The Bus song!

They Know How We Vote By How We Shop

Think you’re unique? Think you’re one-of-a-kind? Think again. Big Brother is watching and he thinks he has you all figured out. [ABC News]

Voting strategists think they know how you’re going to vote today based on what you like to buy.

It’s called “microtargeting.” Political groups purchase data showing our credit card purchases, Internet shopping, etc. They cross-reference that info with voter lists, club memberships and census data to create voter profiles

Take the test, see if they’ve got you pegged.

• Dr. Pepper or Sprite?
• Bourbon or Vodka?
• Wal-Mart or Whole Foods?
• Coors or Budweiser?
• Audi or Saab?
• College football or U.S. Open tennis?

You say you picked most of the first options? You’re a conservative, right? And you over there picked second options? You’re a full-on liberal, baby. Did we just BLOW YOUR FREAKING MIND???

Try this trick at parties! Impress your friends!

By the Numbers

Planning to rock the vote today? Unfortunately, many Americans aren’t. Here’s a look behind the numbers of America’s civic laziness. [AP]

40%

The percent of voting-age Americans who generally cast their votes during a nonpresidential election.

70%

The percentage of Iraqis who casted their ballots during the country’s December elections.

130

The number of countries the U.S. lags behind when it comes to voter participation. Discount countries that enforce compulsory voting laws — fewer than a dozen — and America’s standing hardly improves.

Minnesota

One of the states where voter turnout is the highest, regardless of the harsh wintry conditions that can dissuade people from the polls.

Celebrities: Unfiltered

“His side is messier. My side is cutesy, like Beatrix Potter, which is fine for him to visit but there’s no way he could live in it. He thinks his side is James Bond.”

— Helena Bonham Carter, explaining why she and longtime love Tim Burton have two totally separate houses, connected by a hallway. Maybe it’s just us, but we think that arrangement sounds simply perfect. [Hollywood Rag]

Speed Round

BOOZE

From now on, we’re only drinking Mike Ditka wine. Da Bears! [Chicago Sun Times]

VACATION

Hotel sponsors “procreation vacations,” special packages designed to make sure she gets knocked up. [Local Channel 6]

SCHOOL DAYS

You want lunch? Give up your prints. [Local Channel 6]

ON SECOND THOUGHT, CANCEL THAT SPINACH TOMATO SALAD

Put down the tomato and walk slowly away: Latest poisoned veggie outbreak in 21 states due to salmonella-infected tomatoes. [CNN]

I WANT MY MUMMY!

Beware the mummy’s curse! Police confiscate ancient mummy from Michigan woman, who was trying to sell it on e-Bay. [NY Daily News]

NAKED PEOPLE

You know you’ve hit a new low when you have a screaming fight with your boyfriend. At Waffle House. Nude. [NY Daily News]

RELIGION

44%: Percent of Americans who think Jesus will return in the next 50 years. [Newsweek]

SEXY DAME

Dame Helen Mirren was voted the sexiest woman over the age of 60, beating Goldie Hawn, Susan Sarandon, Honor Blackman and Debbie Harry. Discuss. [Daily Record]

OVERBOARD

Today’s “guy missing from cruiseship” story brought to you courtesy of Carnival Cruiselines. [Fox News]

SNOOP DOGG

Cha-ching! Snoop surrenders on weapons charge, guarantees his next album will go through the roof. [TMZ]

LIPOSUCTION

Wow, our mom just told us to go outside and ride bikes: 12-year-old girl gets lipo. [ABC News]

CASTING COUCH

Christopher Walken to play Ozzy Osbourne in new movie. That makes us so happy, we just want to say it again. Christopher Walken to play Ozzy Osbourne in new movie. [ABC News]

STUPID CRIMINALS

If you’re going to play I Never, don’t drink when someone says “I never killed a guy.” Especially if you’ve killed a guy. [AP]

GENERATION M

Dude, email is soooooo for grandmas: Study shows teens least likely demographic to use e-mail, preferring IM and texting instead. [Fox News]