Watercooler Sensation

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Greece Fire

• Greece is on fire, and lax environmental laws are partially to blame. [CS Monitor]
• Greek firefighters continue to fight over 170 fires that erupted, seemingly simultaneously across Greece over the weekend. The blaze has killed at least 63 people, and prosecutors are classifying the cause as arson, and possibly terrorism. [Guardian]
• But environmental critics say that Greece’s lax environmental laws, and an environmental bureaucracy packed with political cronies instead of experts, exacerbated the problem (sound familiar, America?).
• The fires were likely set by arsonists hired by developers to clear forest for building, an illegal practice that activists say persists because “in large part perpetrators have previously gotten away with it.”
• The ruling party in Greece is also being “denounced for undermining the firefighting force, reorganised by the former government ahead of the 2004 Athens Olympic games, by handing top jobs to inexperienced political appointees.” Apparently they’re doing a heckuva job.

Cronyism at the feet of Mount Olympus.

Michael Vick Pleads Guilty

The Story

• Atlanta Falcon Michael Vick, age 27, plead guilty yesterday to felony charges connected to his role in a brutal dog-fighting ring. Vick admitted funding the ring, and involvement in the murder of at six to eight underperforming dogs. He was also involved in running the gambling operation around the fights. [NY Times] [ESPN]
• Sentencing was set for December 10, 2007. The former superstar could get up to five years in the slammer for his involvement, though the U.S. attorney’s office says it will recommend a sentence of 12-18 months if he continues to cooperate with authorities.
• At his press conference yesterday, Vick expressed remorse and apologized to his teammates, his (former) fans, the owner of the Falcons and the commissioner of the NFL for his actions and for lying to them about his actions.
• Falcons’ owner Arthur Blank also gave a presser, in which he said, as good as it would feel, cutting Vick from the team would only do long-term damage to the team due to complicated legal and salary-cap issues. He also left the door open – just a tiny crack – for Vick to play for the NFL in the future.

The Audio

Michael Vick’s Press Conference

• “First, I want to apologize for all the things I’ve done and that I’ve allowed to happen.”
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• “I want to personally apologize to Commissioner Goodell, Arthur Blank, Coach Bobby Petrino, my Atlanta Falcon teammates for our previous discussions that we had and I was not honest or forthright in our discussions.”
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• “I was ashamed and totally disappointed in myself, to say the least. I want to apologize to all the young kids out there for my immature acts. What I did was very immature, so that means I need to grow up.”
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• “Dog fighting is a terrible thing and I did reject it. I’m set in myself and, through this situation, I found Jesus and asked him for forgiveness. I turned my life over to God. I think that’s the right thing to do as of right now.”
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Arthur Blank’s Press Conference

• “Let me say again how profoundly disappointed and saddened we are by the actions that Michael has admitted to. He’s let down his fans, his team, he’s damaged the reputation of our club and the entire National Football League and betrayed the trust of many people.”
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• “We now must address numerous issues that include many time-consuming legal, contractual and salary cap matters. This is not as simple as standing here today and tell you we’re terminating Michael’s rights. We simply cannot do that. It’s not in our fans’ or our franchise’s long-term best interests. It would be a short-term fix at the expense of our long-term success.”
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• “So we cannot tell you today that Michael is cut from the team. Cutting him may feel better today emotionally for us and many of our fans, but it’s not in the long-term best interests of our franchise.”
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• “After Michael pays his debt to society, and when he does the proper self-reflection which I thought began this morning, publicly, with his press conference, with very sincere and what I thought were very heartfelt statements by him, maybe he’ll have the opportunity to play again in the National Football League.”
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Just for fun, compare these press conferences — remorseful, stern, accepting of responsibility — with those of Alberto Gonzales and President Bush yesterday.

Skip The Gym, Eat Some Jalapenos

• So you’ve got two choices: Hit the treadmill for an hour to burn those extra calories, or munch on a few jalapenos. Frankly, we prefer the latter of the two options. [MSNBC]
• New research shows that adding spices to your diet can curb hunger, strengthen muscles, boost your brainpower and improve mood.
• A study in the British Journal of Nutrition found that when women added 2 teaspoons of dried red pepper on their food, they consumed fewer calories and fat in later meals.
• But wait, there’s more! Adding a little spice to your life can also buff you up. The curcumin that turns turmeric yellow also helps reduce inflammation and aids muscle repair after heavy exercise, researchers at the University of South Carolina at Columbia say.
• Curcumin also sweeps out plaque deposits in your brain, which may help stave off Alzheimer’s disease, research from the University of California at Los Angeles suggests.

The Spice Girls were on to something.

Ted Haggard Wants Your Money

• The disgraced Rev. Ted Haggard wants you to pay his living expenses for the next two years, filtering them through a defunct charity headed by a registered sex offender.
• You remember Rev. Ted Haggard. The right-wing evangelical leader was forced to resign from his Colorado mega-church last year after getting busted for having sex with a male prostitute who was also his crystal meth dealer.
• Haggard cured himself of his gayness after packing a three-year therapy treatment into only three weeks. [Haggard’s Letter] [Denver Post]
• He and his wife then headed to Arizona to become psychologists.
• Late last week, the Reverend hit up ABC-affiliate KRDO to help him solicit people for money. He asked reporter Tak Landrock to help him find “people who can give a one-time gift or make a commitment to help support us monthly for two years.”
• We would like to point out here that Haggard is still receiving his $138,000 annual salary through the end of this year and, whoops, although they’ve moved into an apartment in Phoenix, he and his wife have yet to put their $715,000 house in Colorado Springs on the market.
• Haggard went on to say people could either write him checks directly or, if they wanted their donations to be tax-deductible, people could make their donations to a non-profit group called “Families With A Mission.” Ninety percent of the money would then be passed to the Haggards; 10% would stay with “Families With A Mission” for administrative costs. (According to Haggard, your cash donation would also qualify you for a reward in heaven.) [Colorado Confidential]
• FYI: Families With A Mission was officially dissolved last February.
• FYI: Families With A Mission is headed by a guy named Paul Huberty, a registered sex offender. [Rocky Mountain News]

And yet you know there are some people out there who will actually fork over hard-earned cash to this guy.

The States Of Our Union Are Fat

• Time to hit the gym, America. [AP]
• The obesity rates in 31 states increased this year and decreased in none. None!
• Mississippi became the first state to top 30% percent, giving it the highest rate in the nation, followed closely by West Virginia and Alabama.
• Why are we all so fat? Well, we don’t exercise. Last year, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention found that a staggering 22% of Americans had done no exercise in the past month.
• Colorado is the leanest state, but still has an obesity rate of 17.6 percent. Washington DC has the highest child obesity, with 22.8% of youth 11-17 classified as overweight.
• Being overweight is linked to poverty, the 5 poorest states are among the top ten fattest, but Jeffrey Levi, of Trust For America’s Health who conducted the survey says, “If we want people to be more physically active, then there have to be safe places to be active. That’s not just a class issues. We’ve designed suburban communities where there are no sidewalks for anybody to go out and take a walk.

Eat a carrot stick, take a walk.

By the Numbers

Good news for cops and Homer Simpson: Baked-goods giant Dunkin Donuts is trying to refresh its image by largely eliminating trans fat across its menu. The restaurant chain has reformulated more than 50 menu items — doughnuts included. Let’s take a look at the numbers. [AP]

5,400

There are 5,400 Dunkin Donuts spanning 34 states.

400

400 of Dunkin Donuts’s stores have already made the switch away from trans fats.

5 Grams

A normal doughnut contains 5 grams of trans-fats.

8 Grams

A glazed doughnut from Dunkin contains 8 grams of fat. 4 of those are trans fats.

180 Calories

A glazed doughnut from Dunkin contains 180 calories.

Like, three hundred million

The number of doughnuts we feel comfortable eating.

Celebrities: Unfiltered

“F-ck that! I don’t think so.”

— Lindsay Lohan, on being informed of what her schedule would be at Cirque Lodge, a rehab clinic near Sundance, UT. Recap: So far, LiLo’s been in rehab three times this year. She’s managed to sneak in whippets and cold medicine, and has been accused of engaging in some, uh, hanky panky. So we here at Mic Check pose this question: Troubled star, or the Macgyver of rehab? [Celebitchy]

Speed Round

HATE RADIO

Rush Limbaugh sings a song mocking latino immigrants, guest workers and guacamole. Not so classy.

CAFFERTY ON GONZALES

Recalling that some pundits likened Alberto Gonzales’s Congressional hearings to “clubbing a baby seal” Cafferty quips, “yes, but baby seals can remember things.”

TRAGEDY

Rumors of attempted suicide attempt follow hospitalized actor Owen Wilson. Wilson released a statement yesterday afternoon, reading simply, “I respectfully ask that the media allow me to receive care and heal in private during this difficult time.” [ABC News] [TMZ]

HEALTH

Dunkin Donuts announces a complete overhaul, cutting dangerous trans-fat from its menu. To quote Homer J. Simpson, “Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?” [CBS News]

GOOD PEOPLE

Publishing powerhouse Random House donates $1 million to First Book, a nonprofit organization that gives books to needy kids. [NY Times]

DIFFERENT KIND OF MILE-HIGH CLUB

After a woman suddenly gives birth to a 1-lb. preemie on a First Choice Airwaves flight, the flight crew keeps the baby alive with a drinking straw. Yet we can’t seem to get a blanket or an extra pack of pretzels, go figure. [Fox News]

CHESTNUTS

Chestnut trees, in new disease resistant hybrid form, are making a comeback in the United States. From 1904-1950, an “invasive blight” killed over 3.5 billion chestnut trees nationwide. Bob Hope’s Christmas suggestions didn’t help either. [CS Monitor]

START PRAYING

A sign of the Apocalypse : Shoe company Crocs Inc, creator of those ugly, ugly orange sandals, is starting a clothing line. Crocpocalypse? [Reuters]

TOUGH MINERS

Two Chinese miners dig themselves out six days after their mine collapsed, trapping them underground. [AP]

FORGET PARIS

Meet Andrew Ahlering, the concerned Californian who wants to get the Sherriff who went easy on Paris Hilton removed from the bench. It takes 400,000 signatures to get his removal on the ballot. The number Andrew has so far? 40. Time to get more friends, buddy. [Fox]

170,000

The number of cigarettes Winnie Langley, a British pensioner, has smoked in her lifetime as of her 100th birthday. Langley has smoked five cigarettes every day since she was seven years old...she started just before World War One broke out and hasn’t stopped since. [Daily Mail]

JUST ‘COZ SHE DANCES GO-GO

“Fake Money Doesn’t Fool Tenn. Strippers” [AP]

FOREIGN AFFAIRS

German kangaroo escapes. France braces its defenses. [AP]

WE’RE JUST SAYING...

Ann Coulter’s looking a little more (cough boob job cough) busty than normal. [City Rag]

THINGS WE’RE NOT OKAY WITH

Naked yoga. [Gawker]